READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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