Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Randomize
