Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
