In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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