So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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