I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
