We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
