This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
