ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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