I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
is it fun? or sober?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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