Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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