I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
