That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
