she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize