did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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