I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize