dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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