mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
