I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
