Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
