You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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