I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize