can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize