no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
