so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
