Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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