Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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