How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
it's like iHOP with fire
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
