my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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