I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
