dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
