So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
