New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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