Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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