I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
