its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
