I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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