Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
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so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
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