This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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