I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
