is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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