I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
