Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
