she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
