I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
