Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
