Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
