and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
