your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
