you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
