I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
