Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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