white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
