Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
