I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
