to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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