What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
